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Although these signs do not necessarily indicate that a child has been abused, they may help adults recognise that something is wrong. The possibility of abuse should be investigated if a child shows a number of these symptoms, or any of them to a marked degree:
Sexual Abuse
Being overly affectionate or knowledgeable in a sexual way inappropriate to the child's age
Medical problems such as chronic itching, pain in the genitals, venereal diseases
Other extreme reactions, such as depression, self-mutilation, suicide attempts, running away, overdoses, anorexia
Personality changes such as becoming insecure or clinging
Regressing to younger behaviour patterns such as thumb sucking or bringing out discarded cuddly toys
Sudden loss of appetite or compulsive eating
Being isolated or withdrawn
Inability to concentrate
Lack of trust or fear of someone they know well, such as not wanting to be alone with a babysitter or child minder
Starting to wet again, day or night/nightmares
Become worried about clothing being removed
Suddenly drawing sexually explicit pictures
Trying to be 'ultra-good' or perfect; overreacting to criticism
Physical Abuse
Unexplained recurrent injuries or burns
Improbable excuses or refusal to explain injuries
Wearing clothes to cover injuries, even in hot weather
Refusal to undress for gym
Bald patches
Chronic running away
Fear of medical help or examination
Self-destructive tendencies
Aggression towards others
Fear of physical contact - shrinking back if touched
Admitting that they are punished, but the punishment is excessive (such as a child being beaten every night to 'make him study')
Fear of suspected abuser being contacted
Emotional Abuse
Physical, mental and emotional development lags
Sudden speech disorders
Continual self-depreciation ('I'm stupid, ugly, worthless, etc')
Overreaction to mistakes
Extreme fear of any new situation
Inappropriate response to pain ('I deserve this')
Neurotic behaviour (rocking, hair twisting, self-mutilation)
Extremes of passivity or aggression
Neglect
Constant hunger
Poor personal hygiene
Constant tiredness
Poor state of clothing
Emaciation
Untreated medical problems
No social relationships
Compulsive scavenging
Destructive tendencies
Note: A child may be subjected to a combination of different kinds of abuse.It is also possible that a child may show no outward signs and hide what is happening from everyone
Suspected Abuse
If you suspect that a child is being abused, seek advice from the police or social services. It is preferable that you identify yourself and give details. However, if you feel unsure and would like to discuss the situation, ring the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) Helpline, or the Royal Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, or the Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. You can speak to these organisations (and the police and social services) anonymously. The numbers are given in this website.
Knowing how damaging abuse is to children, it is up to the adults around them to take responsibility for stopping it.
If a child tells you about abuse:
Stay calm and be reassuring
Find a quiet place to talk
Believe in what you are being told
Listen, but do no press for information
Say that you are glad that the child told you
If it will help the child to cope. say that the abuser has a problem
Say that you will do your best to protect and support the child
If necessary, seek medical help and contact the police or social services
If your child has told another adult, such as a teacher or school nurse, contact them. Their advice may make it easier to help your child
Determine if this incident may affect how your child reacts at school. It may be advisable to liaise with you child's teacher, school nurse or headteacher
Acknowledge that your child may have angry, sad or even guilty feelings about what happened, but stress that the abuse was not the child's fault. Acknowledge that you will probably need help dealing with your own feelings
Seek counselling for yourself and your child through the organisations listed on the website Where to Get Help
You may consider using the school as a resource, as the staff should have a network of agencies they work with, and be able to give you advice.
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